Broken Engagements

I've had my own broken engagement story. But recently, a friend of mine had to tell me that her wedding was called off. Now, it's not my place to write about what happened or who it is. And since this is still a public forum, I try very hard to just write about things that happen to me. Or I try and stick to my own thoughts. Well, this time I'm not going to write what I think of what happened. But I am going to go off a bit on men calling off engagements.

I've always felt that women are a bit cheated, when it comes to the engagement process. I do think it's nice when a guy plans a nice engagement. Anthony did an amazing job! One that I will always remember fondly. But my issue with the engagement is -- we don't get to choose WHEN this event will occur. I'm not talking about the exact date and time. I completely get that most women want their engagement to be a "surprise." I'm talking about the timeline within the relationship. What if she felt ready after dating for two years, and he waited until the 4th? Or what if he proposed to her after two years, and she didn't think she was ever ready to marry him? Also, I just don't get it when a guy calls off the wedding. Why did he propose in the first place? Did he not think through all of the "issues" before he set about to buy a ring, plan a proposal, and get nervous and ask the woman of his dreams to marry him?! And if he did think those things through, then how in the world did everything change so much that he now has to forfeit all of the money he's put into this engagement and call it all off?

And while we're on the subject of weddings, I think there are tons of things couples should talk about before getting married. I'm not an expert, by any means, since I called off a wedding about five years ago. But I'm always surprised when friends mention to me they did not talk about the following things before they got hitched:

- having children (no, he or she didn't change his or her mind about this later)
- living situation (living worlds apart usually means you probably shouldn't get married...also if you love the suburbs and he loves the city, better figure it out!)
- finances (everyone fights about money, so you better figure out a good system so you're not fighting about it everyday of your life!)

Of course, I think there are way more things to talk about than just those three. And yes, Anthony and I are talking about them. We're even going to premarital counseling to give us tools on how to communicate better! But I hope guys who read this will figure out all their shit and their current girlfriend's shit beforehand! See if the stench can be lived with for the rest of their lives or if it's better all flushed down the toilet! (sorry...bad analogy. let me know if you have any better ones.)