Can Women and Men Just Be Friends Pt. 2

I posted the article below about friendship between men and women, but I'm not sure I agree with everything. I just found it interesting to think about since I'm engaged! I do see the dangers of telling secrets to a friend without telling your spouse the same thing. But I'm not sure about only having lunch and not being friends with ex-lovers. Here are some of my thoughts:

Now, back in the day, I used to have more guy friends than girl friends. But now, it's the opposite. I am wary of new guy friends, and I've always felt that it's strange to become friends with someone new once you're married. But I honestly do believe that there are some people you can be friends with, even if they were your ex. Actually, I don't have a lot of straight guy friends who weren't exes at one point in my life. Sometimes you just realize you're better off as friends.

About 10 years ago, one of my closest college friends decided he didn't want to be friends anymore because he said I wasn't a good friend. But I really had not done anything differently in all of the years I had known him. My take on the whole thing? We were never meant to be more than just friends.

I had a crush on him when he first moved in as a roommate, but he was hung up on a high school friend of his. Afterwards, when I started dating someone else, he had a crush on me. We eventually did "date" (and I use that term loosely), but honestly, I didn't see it going anywhere and felt that we were much better as friends. Shortly after, that's when he told me he didn't want to be friends anymore. I was devastated. I just felt like we were such good friends for so long that we'd be able to weather the storm.

On a different cloud (without a silver lining), I do believe that sometimes guys are friends with me just because they're holding out the hope that I may someday end up having sex with them. And once that possibility is erased from their minds, (whether it's because they now have a significant other or because I told them so) they're not as interested in hanging out or talking anymore.

Ultimately, to me, friendship has always trumped the other kinds of relationships. I believe that you should be friends with your spouse or anyone first and always because that's what lasts. And to me, friendship is basically any relationship where you have 100% trust in that person. They have your back, and they are there for you in the good and the bad times in your life. Also, loyal to a fault. If they're my friend, they'll back me up even if they think I'm wrong. They don't talk about me behind my back. Instead, they're brave enough to tell me to my face if they think I'm going down a dangerous path. Supportive yet honest and loyal and trustworthy. Building blocks for friendships and for marriage.