Sarah Silverman's Crazy Campaign

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Can Women and Men Just Be Friends Pt. 2

I posted the article below about friendship between men and women, but I'm not sure I agree with everything. I just found it interesting to think about since I'm engaged! I do see the dangers of telling secrets to a friend without telling your spouse the same thing. But I'm not sure about only having lunch and not being friends with ex-lovers. Here are some of my thoughts:

Now, back in the day, I used to have more guy friends than girl friends. But now, it's the opposite. I am wary of new guy friends, and I've always felt that it's strange to become friends with someone new once you're married. But I honestly do believe that there are some people you can be friends with, even if they were your ex. Actually, I don't have a lot of straight guy friends who weren't exes at one point in my life. Sometimes you just realize you're better off as friends.

About 10 years ago, one of my closest college friends decided he didn't want to be friends anymore because he said I wasn't a good friend. But I really had not done anything differently in all of the years I had known him. My take on the whole thing? We were never meant to be more than just friends.

I had a crush on him when he first moved in as a roommate, but he was hung up on a high school friend of his. Afterwards, when I started dating someone else, he had a crush on me. We eventually did "date" (and I use that term loosely), but honestly, I didn't see it going anywhere and felt that we were much better as friends. Shortly after, that's when he told me he didn't want to be friends anymore. I was devastated. I just felt like we were such good friends for so long that we'd be able to weather the storm.

On a different cloud (without a silver lining), I do believe that sometimes guys are friends with me just because they're holding out the hope that I may someday end up having sex with them. And once that possibility is erased from their minds, (whether it's because they now have a significant other or because I told them so) they're not as interested in hanging out or talking anymore.

Ultimately, to me, friendship has always trumped the other kinds of relationships. I believe that you should be friends with your spouse or anyone first and always because that's what lasts. And to me, friendship is basically any relationship where you have 100% trust in that person. They have your back, and they are there for you in the good and the bad times in your life. Also, loyal to a fault. If they're my friend, they'll back me up even if they think I'm wrong. They don't talk about me behind my back. Instead, they're brave enough to tell me to my face if they think I'm going down a dangerous path. Supportive yet honest and loyal and trustworthy. Building blocks for friendships and for marriage.

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

Can men and women be "just friends," or is sexual attraction between the sexes always inevitable? According to Rabbi Shmuley, men and women can be friends with members of the opposite sex, as long as they follow certain rules. He talks about platonic friendship between the sexes and shares his ground rules for opposite-sex friendships outside of marriage.

If a person isn't married, Rabbi Shmuley says it's perfectly all right to have friends who are members of the opposite sex. Society has moved away from polarizing the sexes, and today, men and women work together, go to school together and should be able to be friends, he says.

Things are different if you are married, Rabbi Shmuley says. It is possible to have an opposite sex friendship, but you cannot compromise certain borders:

You can't go out to late night dinners together. You can have lunch together in a public place, but you should not order alcoholic beverages. "The embers of attraction really can grow in situations like that, and suddenly it's not so innocent, it's not just friendship anymore," Rabbi Shmuley says.

You can't take long drives or long flights with the other person, even if it's for work. "Even if you have to work with a colleague [of the opposite sex], there are still certain boundaries you need to preserve," he says.

You cannot place yourself in any situation where romance can grow. "Romance grows when people are alone; romance grows when people tell secrets," Rabbi Shmuley says.

You can't share secrets with a platonic male or female friend that you don't share with your spouse. "Because then you're sharing an exclusivity with a member of the opposite sex that you're not with your partner, and that can lead to a big no-no," he says.

You should not be friends with ex-lovers.

Remembering September 11

It doesn't feel like it's been seven years. I woke up that morning to a phone call from my now ex. He was at one of the airports in New York City, and he called to tell me to turn on the TV because a plane had just flown into one of the World Trade Center towers. Not sure what anything meant and still groggy from being woken up at an "ungodly" hour, I stared at the images and tried to comprehend the newscasters.

My ex was supposed to have been on one of those flights! For some reason, his mother had changed it at the last minute. Miracle? Coincidence? What about all of those people who did not make it?

I remember crying and feeling helpless until I picked myself up and went into work hours early. I was producing/editing for a Los Angeles all news radio station at the time and just being there felt calming to me. I got my ex on the phone to go live and tried all of my friends too. Some people I couldn't reach, but most, I did. It was also a way for me to connect with everyone and to make sure the people I know were alright.

Luckily, my friends had all survived. The closest encounter was my friend, Margaret. She worked at the World Trade Center and just happened to be running late for work that morning! Her father drives a taxi and drove her to work, but then of course, had to drive her back home. Another friend who worked on Wall Street at the time, eventually quit her job. It was a year later, and she was pregnant. And the fumes were still causing her breathing problems.

Finally, my thoughts go to everyone on those planes. They did not die in vain. In fact, every time I think about those who called their loved ones and said they were going to try to do something, I get choked up. Brave souls who sacrificed their lives so more people were not killed. We are all grateful. I do not believe most of those people who died would want the kind of war we are currently in. We all need to remember and not take revenge.

Alicia Silverstone and I bonded over funny moment!

Alicia Silverstone is beautiful. She has healthy long blond hair, great skin, and an amazing body. What you may not know is...this girl is truly a beautiful person on the inside too! I got a chance to talk to the amazing actress at Animal Acres, a rescue sanctuary in Acton, California this weekend. And her aura is truly enlightened. Kind, sweet, and intelligent, Alicia is definitely not "clueless." Instead, she is vegan for great reasons (love for animals, being kind to all beings, and everything we do is part of the cycle of life), and she and her rocker husband seem very happy. And oh yeah, we bonded when I had to tell her to xyz.

Barack Obama's L.A. HQ Opening!!

I got an invitation today that read:
Southern California for Obama Headquarters Opening

3619 Motor Avenue, 2nd Floor
Los Angeles, CA 90034

Thursday, September 4th
6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.

http://CA.BarackObama.com/CAlosangeles

I RSVP'd and left my loft at 5:30 p.m. Normally that is plenty of time to get to the west side of L.A. But it wasn't meant to be. EVERYONE was there! There was no parking. There were long lines of people waiting outside to get in. I was rescued by my friend, James, who lives in the 'hood. Here's some video of some people waiting outside and then my drive away from the area...away from the mad traffic, news helicopter and trucks!

Jon Stewart says what we're all thinking!

And he has video archives to back it up! Hilarious. I laughed out loud at my cubicle at work.